We all need Rules
As a parent, its difficult enough not knowing whether we have done everything correctly as we were trying to raise them, but when they reach adulthood, its difficult to know when to tell your children when we aren’t very happy with them. My son and myself have a great relationship and I’m extremely supportive of him most times. Like every parent, I want the best for him however like most children, he wont realise this until later on in his life. I know that sometimes I may not come across the way I initially planned as my emotions always tend to get in the way, but I do have the best intentions. I know that I can become extremely angry when I see a glimpse of history repeating itself and as a result I may not handle the situation in the best manner, therefore completely obliterating any hope of being heard.
However, can I just state for the record that older children have a huge problem sticking to the rules. Things we think are common sense and not to be tested seem to be our adult children’s boundary testing items. My son who has just turned 20 is such a charming young man, with the most beautiful heart and mind, however, he can sometimes just drive me up the creek! His dad and myself have had to pen rules and we have all signed off on them in order to ensure that we are all on the same page. In fact, at our little family getaway before our son returned, I was asked very politely to write down whatever I needed to get of my chest, so that it can be communicated in the correct manner. Now, I did think, “My word” this is my child, why the heck do I have to mind what I say, but it all comes down to actually being heard and respected. If I don’t give my son the respect he needs, how will I ever get the same back in return. I’m not dealing with my 4 year old where I can raise my voice slightly and get some compliance, dealing with an adult is so different, even if it is the child you bore. I thought adolescence was difficult, try adulthood…its not for the faint hearted!