When I decided to divorce my ex-late husband I was 22 at the time and my son was 3 years old. Explaining to him that I was going to leave his father and that it was going to be just him and I was not as difficult as I thought it would be, as at the time his father was not as emotionally stable and with my son being young, I knew that it was the best thing I could do for him. However, as determined as I was to go through with the divorce, it was inevitable that I would question myself and doubt my abilities to raise a child on my own. My family were extremely supportive, however the torment I would experience from my soon to be ex husband was beyond emotionally draining. He challenged me on everything and eventually not being able to or wanting to pay maintenance was the deciding factor. I eventually told him that he didn’t need to pay maintenance as long as he signed the divorce papers, to which he finally conceded. Going to court that morning was such a crazy experience. There were tons of people witnessing me take the stand and answer personal questions by the judge who then decided whether to grant my divorce or not.
Thankfully he granted mine, but I remember being so tormented by everything that had transpired in the past couple of years and that morning, that I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up, I felt so revived and rejuvenated, as this was the beginning of my new life with Tyler. I would be lying if I said that it was easy, it wasn’t and I recall being in debt so many times trying to make things work and trying to give Tyler a good childhood. I never regretted getting divorced and as much as being a single mum was not the easiest time of life, it made me such an incredibly strong woman. Trying to prevent disappointments, making up for other people not caring, finding a way to make things happen despite all odds being against you, finding a way to work and be a 100% parent, trying to be both a father and a mother – are just some of the challenges I faced as a single mum. Eventually I did come to terms with the fact that I am doing the best that I could do for my son and myself. I learnt to accept that I couldn’t control other people’s actions, I could just learn to deal with it better and teach my son to do that as well. He would eventually grow up to learn that I did everything I could to protect him from people and things that he didn’t need to be exposed to, and despite all of this, there are some things in life I could not protect him from. He is going to be 20 years old in 2 month’s time, and despite all of the hiccups I may experience with him, he has a beautiful heart, mind and soul and I can look back and smile knowing that he did turn out well despite all of the trials experienced.
