As a mum who raised her son as a single parent for almost 14 years, I have to admit just how difficult it was sticking to certain rules that would enable my son to grow up as a functional and independent individual. Having to make decisions on my own as to whether to send him to a particular school, whether to allow him to have a cellphone, whether to allow a sleepover, whether to let him skip church, whether to allow him out with his friends or even whether to change his curfew! These were all rules that I had to put in place for him to understand that although it was just the two of us, he still had to comply and cooperate for us to be able to live together without anymore hiccups. I also had to ensure that he knew that it was just me making these rules and I would not entertain any additional commentary from his father.
I have to say that it was not always easy, nor was it always harmonious as there was a transitional period that we both went through. I had to get through the hurt and heal from the tumultuous relationship and he had to learn to deal with disappointment and getting over the rejection he felt as a result of the divorce. Children always seem to blame themselves for their parents relationships not working out and no matter how many times I would try to convince my son that it was definitely not him, he would somehow still think that it was. After numerous play therapy sessions, one-on-one talks and time, my son did understand the reasoning behind the choices I made for the both of us. He also understood that although he may not have liked the rules I made him live by, he did need them to grow up to be a functional individual in this life.
